Has anyone ever felt like they were having a flashback while completely sober at work? This afternoon at work I was speaking to someone at work and it was almost like I was looking too closely. It was like that scene in that movie where the guys face just strokes out and melts off of one side. I think it was a strange migraine because just before I saw half of his face go slack for just a second. Also, his face got all red right around his right eye, and then BLAMMO! Melty face. It freaked me out so badly that I had to look away to make sure I wasn’t flipping out.

The best part? After work, my friend (who also works with me-god help her) said, “Heidi, I thought so-and-sos face was going to melt off at work today.”

Weird.

Got a haircut last night, first time in months that you can actually see both of my eyes. AND eyebrows! Whee!! Also, I appear to be terrified that it’s time for me to go to work.

This morning I got up on time. Luckily, I’m so tired today that I don’t actually care about how I look at work. This means I dressed myself with my eyes closed, using only what was already available in my room (Audrey is familiar with this grab-n-go game). The “outfit” I’m wearing today includes a shirt that was on my dressform and about 17 different prints, which when put together = about 8 million. This is just how I roll. This dressing blindly gave me extra time to sit at the coffee shop and ponder my tiredness. My tiredossitude. I had the most delicious bowl of steel cut oatmeal with brown sugar and granola, and a giant “side” of toast. Whatever toastmonster this stuff comes from must be huge. Also, I love jelly.

Now my coffee is gone, and I fear the tiredness is already settling in. If it doesn’t become 10 am soon I will have to drink the swill (yuban) in the warehouse, and that might be the end of me.

Ok, not really. But here is the update on project “rubber band ball.” This is over a week old, but it’s a slow week for rubber bands, so it’s not actually much bigger right now. I’m looking forward to pilfering more supplies next week to watch this bad boy grow.

Alright, I’m back. It’s not that I think I’m more interesting now, it’s that my personal standards for interesting-ness are now lower than ever before. Whee! This is what is in the middle drawer of my file cabinet at work. You see my precious precious rubber band ball, begun just the other day. It’s a tradition I have in office jobs: decide to stay and work there, but ONLY if a rubber band ball project is begun at the beginning of employment. Then, a few days, weeks, months or years later, present said rubber band ball to boss upon leaving the company. It gets em every time.

Alright, I’ve officially completed my first whole week at work (plus 2 days last week). AND I thought I’d die if I had to work again, but it turns out I’ll probably be just fine. Probably.

The building I work in just gets more and more strange the longer I work there. I have found hundreds of bathrooms on my floor, sort of. Three of the women’s bathrooms are within 20 feet of my office. It’s very dormitory-like, I keep expecting there to be a resident advisor lurking somewhere in the halls, not that I ever lived in a dorm, but I read books, I know what it must be like. Maybe my boss is the R.A. of my division?

My goal over the coming weeks is to document each of the strange rooms in the building, I hear there’s even a room with a bed! This bothers me in several ways.

Also, I have found these things out:

1. I CAN listen to music at work (quietly)
2. I can NOT listen to gangsta rap at work (at all)
3. Anything that touches the floor in my office will be stained by the muck of the ages
4. I have the internet! Whee! No limits there, I suppose I’ll have to be the jerk to look at porn while at work and get it taken away from everyone. Like usual.

In conclusion, work is still for suckers. I guess I’m one of them again, that is all.

Ok, at least part of the time. Actually, I really like my new job. Hoping not to get the feeling that I’m in way over my head after the joy of gainful employment has passed. Today on break I set the camera timer to go and go and go. It’s so hard to be serious when you’re high on sugar.

So, here are some pictures of Ms Joe, myself, my “office”, and our breakroom/dormitory cafeteria?